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My .sig quotes

April 17th, 2008 (08:47 am)

martianfencer asked to see my .sig quotes, so I decided to post.

These are the ones I consider suitable for work use:

  • Life is like a metaphor.
  • "Where's your sense of adventure?" "In front of a roaring fire with a cup of cocoa."
  • Amazing Fact: if there are three cats in a room, they will form a triangle!
  • When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that fire departments generally use water.
  • Give up on pessimism. It doesn't work anyway.
  • In the Singularity, everyone will be famous for 15 nanoseconds. Simultaneously.
  • Axolotl Invasion! Newts at eleven.
  • Onomatopia: a social-political system that just sounds good.
  • A person's concepts should exceed their vocabulary, or what's a metaphor?
  • If AIs can act, will they form Turing companies?
  • All syllogisms have three parts, therefore this is not a syllogism.
  • If "if" statements had no "then" clauses,
  • I'm not a pessimist *or* an optimist. I'm an engineer. The glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
  • The map is not the territory, but you can't fold up the territory and put it in your glove compartment.
  • What if this weren't a rhetorical question?
  • Please do not press this button again.
  • You know you've been root too long when it's easier to change a password than to remember it.
  • LISP is like a finely choreographed ballet. Ada is like a waltz of drugged elephants. C is like a sword-dance on a freshly waxed floor.
  • My strength is as the strength of ten because my code is pure.
  • Recursion is easy. You take a big problem, break off a managable chunk, and are left with a bigger chunk.
  • For an engineer, paranoia is not an affliction. It's a tool.

And these are the rest:

  • I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers.
  • Possessor of a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
  • "If it failed then, there's no reason to think we can't make it fail now." -- Colin Benson
  • Be yourself. It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it.
  • It's possible to use karate against a swarm of plankton...but it won't help.
  • What Would Bugs Bunny Do?
  • What's the point of being fascinatingly crazy, if you don't enrich the world with it?
  • There is a fine line between genius and insanity. Don't use it for a jumprope.
  • Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
  • Do not suspect that I am not human.
  • If you can't say anything surreal, sharpen your sherbert.
  • Marching to a different kettle of fish.
  • This has been a test of the emergency weirdness system.
  • Animal testing is a terrible idea--they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
  • Shouldn't the cosmic stupidity hopper be empty by now?
  • We already have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?
  • I was holding all the cards. Unfortunately, we were playing chess.
  • The difference between fantasy and science fiction is that in fantasy, dragons can hover.
  • How can I build a death ray if they won't let me have any busbars?
  • Kzinti Diplomatic Corps. Let's do lunch.
  • I think we'd get fewer bug reports if we stopped selling our software off planet.
  • Ankh if you love Isis.
  • Christopher Robin Hood steals from the rich and gives to the Pooh.
  • Waiter--there's a feature in my soup!
  • What's large, gray, unwelcome, and beside the point? An irrelephant in my pyjamas.
  • What's seven feet tall and runs around the Himalayas with a light saber? A Yeti Knight.
  • I'm not a bibliophile, I'm a bibliophiliac. Put me in a bookstore, and my wallet bleeds.
  • Question authority, because I said so.
  • Stifle is practically the only word which is an anagram of itself.
  • Speakkle with frequentatives!
  • Those who dance are thought mad by those who hear not the music.
  • Those who hack are thought mad by those who hear not the music.
  • Do not look into laser with remaining eyeball.
  • <Bleep> the censors.
  • Go not to the Vorlons for advice, for they will say both no and sherbert.
  • A:Because it loses context. Q: Why is top-posting bad?
  • There's no place like ~/
  • Any sufficiently rigged demo is indistinguishable from advanced technology.
  • Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.
  • Children shouldn't be exposed to censorship.
  • We've tamed the lightning and taught sand to give error messages.
  • We should have known better than to keep upgrading the cat.
  • If all the world's a stage, why doesn't the music swell when I enter a room?
  • Any sufficiently powerful stupidity is indistinguishable from evil.
  • "Say, I never thought a throne of bones and skulls would be so comfortable!" "It's ergonomic." -- Girl Genius
  • "Now we run for our lives! It's very aerobic." -- Ozy and Millie
  • I didn't believe in reincarnation in my last life, either.
  • Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10.
  • "I'll help you find your inner warrior!" "Good luck. I think he's off watering his prize tulips." -- Ozy and Millie
  • "Come to Canada! We vote INDOORS!"
  • "Sometimes I think Mom doesn't *want* me to rule the world." -- Ozy and Millie
  • "Some days I get the feeling that my role in life's rich pageant was originally written for Curly Howard." -- Ozy and Millie
  • "Armadillo! Armadillo! The cheese from Zimbabwe has lugubriously flattened my popcorn!" -- Ozy and Millie
  • "Okay, one more time, with *vowels*." -- Ozy and Millie
  • "The eyeball business model is getting like market street in San Francisco. Everyone is pierced, shaved, screaming, or on fire." -- Paul Tyma
  • "[A]ny country where the Scarecrow and the Woggle-Bug count as unusually intelligent is setting the bar mighty low." -- Alexx Kay, on Oz.


Posted by: C. Virtue (cvirtue)
Posted at: April 17th, 2008 01:01 pm (UTC)

What about the one with the bridge and the sheep?

Posted by: Who, me? (metageek)
Posted at: April 17th, 2008 01:06 pm (UTC)
Oh, right!

I recently lost my quotes file and had to reconstruct it; some I remembered, some I recovered from the sources (e.g., Nancy Lebovitz's button catalog), but I forgot that one.

(Sooner or later I'll dig through my backup discs. I've been building that collection since 1991; it'd be a shame to give up on it.)

"I am destined to build a bridge to China out of live sheep." I've added it to the generator list.

Posted by: C. Virtue (cvirtue)
Posted at: April 17th, 2008 01:08 pm (UTC)
Re: Oh, right!

There's also the one about the tool and its designer and unintended uses... I'll probably remember some others.

Posted by: Who, me? (metageek)
Posted at: April 17th, 2008 01:15 pm (UTC)
Re: Oh, right!

Oh, right, how did that go...<dig, dig>...""A successful tool is one that was used to do something undreamed of by its author.".

Posted by: C. Virtue (cvirtue)
Posted at: April 17th, 2008 01:09 pm (UTC)
Re: Oh, right!
LotR pants

And how does a badass programmer like yourself lose his .sig file??

Posted by: Who, me? (metageek)
Posted at: April 17th, 2008 01:17 pm (UTC)
Re: Oh, right!

Um...there was an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine?

Some time back, when I switched barrayar from one OS to another, I neglected to tell the installer not to overwrite the partition with my home directory. I apparently also neglected to make a proper backup at that point, so I lost a bunch of files.

(Deleted comment)
Posted by: Who, me? (metageek)
Posted at: April 17th, 2008 01:33 pm (UTC)
Safety margins are built in

Not at all. The safety margin is not included in the capacity of the glass. A well-designed glass will include affordances to make it obvious when you're exceeding safe limits.

Posted by: Hey You (martianfencer)
Posted at: April 17th, 2008 04:08 pm (UTC)

Oh, I knew those would be worth reading! Thanks!

I'll have to postpone clever commentary till later, though, because I'm supposed to be working!

Posted by: Alexx Kay (alexx_kay)
Posted at: April 17th, 2008 04:18 pm (UTC)

I think I will steal some of these for my own :-)

"The difference between fantasy and science fiction is that in fantasy, dragons can hover."

Have you read _The Flight of Dragons_? I suspect that you would enjoy it a great deal, and I would be happy to loan you a copy.

"If all the world's a stage, why doesn't the music swell when I enter a room?"

Because you haven't engineered it, yet. It's probably a decade since I was in a LARP with rickthefightguy where he played a superspy with his own soundtrack. He put small speakers inside the shoulders of his jacket, and had them hooked up to a tape player (you can tell this is an old story) in his pocket with the Peter Gunn Theme on a loop.

Posted by: Who, me? (metageek)
Posted at: April 17th, 2008 08:25 pm (UTC)

I think I will steal some of these for my own :-)

Go ahead; I stole most of them anyway. :-)

Have you read _The Flight of Dragons_?

No...my referent for that symbol is a movie...ah, here it is. (Wikipedia says the movie is based loosely on the book; unless there's a lot of details I've forgotten, "loosely" in this case seems to mean "not at all". :-) Yes, that does look good...ah, and our local library has it! That'll be easier than borrowing yours, thanks.

Posted by: Alexx Kay (alexx_kay)
Posted at: April 17th, 2008 10:27 pm (UTC)

Wikipedia says the movie is based loosely on the book
... *and* _The Dragon and the George_, by Gordy Dickson?!? Well, they both have "dragon" in the title, and the authors have similar last names... I have not seen the movie, and I'm guessing that is no loss.
"loosely" in this case seems to mean "not at all". :-)
Well, that *is* the standard Hollywood meaning of the phrase.

The review of the book you linked to is, on the whole, quite accurate. I quibble, however, with his statement "Anderson and Dickinson obviously collaborated closely during the writing process, as the design of several of Anderson’s dragons match Dickinson’s descriptions." My guess, judging just from the finished product, is that the artist was commissioned to do a coffee table book on dragons, and may have *briefly* skimmed the text; the author or editor then went back and wrote captions that did their best to explain the discrepancies between text and images. The pictures are pretty, but not very related to the text. Luckily, the text works fine on its own :-)

Posted by: Who, me? (metageek)
Posted at: April 18th, 2008 01:50 pm (UTC)
The movie

I have not seen the movie, and I'm guessing that is no loss.

Oh, I rather liked it...when I was about 13. ;-) However, the only scene I remember is the climax, when the Big Rogue Wizard, grown to colossal size, is pulling a Bond Villain, gloating how powerful he is. BRW brags that he could even grab the sun from the sky and eat it. The Physicist From Another World stands up Bravely and says, "No, you can't! That's impossible!". He points out that the sun's light takes 8 minutes to reach us; by the time you reach for the sun, it's not in the same place any more. BRW says, "What nonsense is this? The sun is the sun!"; PFAW goes on to point out more impossibilities...which basically goes to prove that he hasn't been paying attention the whole movie, because he's in a world of magic.

Posted by: Hey You (martianfencer)
Posted at: April 18th, 2008 09:34 pm (UTC)

Phew! I was wondering if that would be bad form!

Posted by: Siderea (siderea)
Posted at: April 18th, 2008 01:28 am (UTC)

Excellent! Snagging!

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