?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Who, me? [userpic]

Starbucks PR

May 29th, 2007 (11:01 am)
Tags: , ,

Sometime last week I saw a blip on a Starbucks PR campaign on the theme, "I am Starbucks". The poster encouraged people to write in their own versions. Mine is a little darker than most:

I am a coffee bean, seed of future life. I have been roasted alive, ground to powder, placed in boiling water, and discarded. I am Starbucks.

(Based on the idea that eating plants is at least as cruel as eating animals; at least the animals aren't still alive when you bite into them.)

Comments

Posted by: goldsquare (goldsquare)
Posted at: May 29th, 2007 03:03 pm (UTC)

You must find, and listen to, "Carrot Juice is Murder" by the Arrogant Worms.

In the mean time, let me try.

"I Am Starbucks.
Dark, Bitter, Burnt.
Disposable, Over-priced.
I Am Starbucks."

I think I won't win.

Posted by: Who, me? (metageek)
Posted at: May 29th, 2007 03:05 pm (UTC)
Carrot Juice is Murder

Oh, yes, I've got that. :-)

But cvirtue introduced me to this idea before we heard of the Arrogant Worms.

Posted by: C. Virtue (cvirtue)
Posted at: May 29th, 2007 03:07 pm (UTC)
YUM

We have a couple of versions, and know most of it by heart.

John, I don't think it's as bad as eating animals; if veggies have any mental processes it's going to take us a very, very long time to figure that out in the first place.

Posted by: Who, me? (metageek)
Posted at: May 29th, 2007 03:09 pm (UTC)
Not as bad

I don't think it's as bad as eating animals

Neither do I; it's just a fun idea to pull out when you want to startle someone. :-)

Posted by: C. Virtue (cvirtue)
Posted at: May 29th, 2007 03:16 pm (UTC)
Re: Not as bad

True. And the coffee grounds are given away for people's compost, so not exactly "thrown away." Some.

Posted by: metahacker (metahacker)
Posted at: May 29th, 2007 03:13 pm (UTC)
crazy

If we weren't meant to roast the beans then why would they be made out of coffee?

Posted by: Who, me? (metageek)
Posted at: May 29th, 2007 03:19 pm (UTC)

To keep the birds awake.

Posted by: Alexx Kay (alexx_kay)
Posted at: May 29th, 2007 03:53 pm (UTC)

Thus proving that they are a Tool Of Satan.

(Alexx grumblingly goes back to his room with the white noise machine and the ear plugs...)

Posted by: Who, me? (metageek)
Posted at: May 29th, 2007 04:09 pm (UTC)
Tools of Satan

Well, yeah. Certain of the damned (e.g., telemarketers who called when people were asleep) are doomed to stay awake for all eternity, no matter how tired they get. They're fed Satan's special high-intensity coffee, Hell Roast.

Oh, and he burns the beans, too.

9 Read Comments